Dear Cole,
I liked this article a lot, and I thought it was very well written. I would double check your byline, as it says that your article is written by someone with a different name. You give a good amount of background information as to what the lab is about, but I would focus more on your subject’s background. This article seems quite focused on the lab, but I would try to bring that focus back onto your subject.
The section about lab work in general can probably be taken out, and possibly replaced with Grace’s experience in finding her lab work. You could explain the accessibility of lab work at UNE through Grace, and have their journey to finding their lab kinda be a conduit for this explanation.
Overall, I didn’t notice errors in terms of grammar. The writing style is very well done, and the information flows from one paragraph to the next super well. I think to make this article the best it can be, finding your focus will be key. This is a great article.
Dear Evan,
Overall, I really liked this article. It gives the reader a very good idea of who Dr. Cripps is, and shows his personality very well. I think a good readover would give this story exactly what it needs, as some of the writing is pretty choppy, and there are a few glaring grammatical errors. I also think that your introduction paragraph for Dr. Cripps should be moved up, as you begin to refer to him just as Cripps before you explain who he is.
I liked the quotes that you used, and I liked that you got the point of view of people who have worked with Cripps, but also people who have had him as a professor. This gives a very well rounded view not only of Cripps as a person, but as a professor. The main work that still needs to be done in this article is in the grammar and overall flow of the writing. Your information is awesome, but some of it may benefit from being reorganized or edited a bit.
